Breathe-Freewood
by rainistorm
Summary: "Did you know that the water you drink could be the same water someone drowned in? Or the breath you just took could be the last breath another person let out before dying?" "Did you know the box jellyfish has sixty-four anuses?" Ryan gave Gavin an incredulous look for a moment before rolling his eyes and pulling the Brit closer to his side.


"Did you know that the water you drink could be the same water someone drowned in? Or the breath you just took could be the last breath another person let out before dying?"

"Did you know the box jellyfish has sixty-four anuses?"

Ryan gave Gavin an incredulous look for a moment before rolling his eyes and pulling the Brit closer to his side.

"How do you even... I love your weird mind." He sighed and Gavin giggled, pressing a kiss to his stubbly cheek.

"And I love your brilliant one." Gavin cooed, their lips connecting briefly.

"Aww look at the beautiful couple!" Ray squealed as the office door opened, the other workers returning from lunch break.

"More like vomit-inducing." Michael quipped and Gavin stuck his tongue out, not moving from where he was snuggled against Ryan's side on his couch.

"Okay, assholes, gay fun time is over. We have some work to do." Geoff grumbled as the two men unfolded themselves, stretching their limbs.

"So, Gav, I was thinking that after work I'd swing by the store and get some wine and you could make something for dinner. We could make a whole thing of it." Ryan suggested and Gavin's face practically lit up.

"Yes! I have the perfect dinner in mind. Ooh, I think we have the supplies for it, too! You'll have to drop me off before getting the wine, though, so I can get started immediately." He bounced over to the older man excitedly, rubbing their noses together. "It's gonna be top!"

"The gay in this room is tangible. Seriously, I think I see little pink sparkles floating around." Michael snickered.

"Oh God, are they on me?!" Ryan began swatting at the air wildly with a face of pseudo-panic.

"You silly little sausage." Gavin smiled and Ryan grinned at him, blue eyes sparkling.

"So, what are we doing today?" Ryan asked, turning to his boss.

"We're gonna start with the new versus, actually. Lucky for you two, it's Ryan versus Gavin. You got your game picked out, Ryan?"

"Definitely." Ryan smirked knowingly and Gavin threw him a confused look. "You've been doing too good for too long, Gavin. It is time for your reign to be brought to an end." He murmured playfully as they began to set things up, working around one another as they did daily.

The red light clicked on and excitement fueled the air as the lads hopped around one another.

"Iiiiiiiiit's VERSUS!" Geoff yelled and cheers filled the small office. "Number... what, Jack?"

"I dunno, I think number one hundred and twelve?"

"Doesn't matter! What DOES matter is that it's Ryan versus Gavin, lover against lover, Romeo against Juliet, gay against gayer, I can keep going with this all day if you want!"

"That won't be necessary, Geoff." Ryan interjected, chuckling.

"Then how about you tell us what game you'll be facing him in today?" Ryan cocked an eyebrow, his eyes glancing between Gavin and the camera.

"Ladies and gentlemen, and anything in between, we're taking this... outside!" He yelled and the men burst into more cheers with a scream of "HARDCORE MAKEOUT SESSION" from Ray mingled in.

"How do you feel about this, Ray?" Michael asked in an interviewer's voice as they made their way out of the building.

"I don't like it already, Michael! Outside is a frightening thing." He joked and the men laughed.

"Okay, luv, what's the challenge?" Gavin asked as Ryan began to take slow steps backwards, grinning.

"Well... It's first to three...TAG YOU'RE IT!" He exclaimed before whirling around and running across the parking lot, weaving between a couple cars.

Gavin blinked confusedly a couple times before realization dawned on him and he snorted, taking after the older man. "Ryan, you absolute mong! I'm going to catch you!"

"NO YOU WON'T!" Ryan called back from far off.

"WOT'S BASE?"

"UMMM... GEOFF!"

"What?! Why am I base?!"

"Can Geoff run?"

"UM... SURE!"

"You should probably start running, Geoff." Jack mused as Ryan made a U-turn towards the boss. Geoff's blue eyes widened before he quickly handed his mic over to Ray, taking off in the opposite direction.

The watching men were laughing hysterically, Michael taking out his phone to record it from another angle. Gavin tripped and skidded across the grass before popping back up, his long legs giving him the advantage as he sprinted towards his boyfriend. Ryan slid over Jack's car, the younger man squawking out his protest, and looped around the corner of the building.

"Shit, Ray. We're going to have to run just to film this." Michael grunted, jogging to catch Ryan tackle Geoff onto the ground.

"It's no problem for the Puerto Rican Thunder!"

"Point for me!" Ryan yelled, pulling up a disgruntled Geoff. "Sorry about that, boss."

"Okay, assholes, let's make a new rule for this-"

"Because the fans love when we change the rules."

"Fuck the fans, I just got tackled. Anyways, let's make a new rule. Michael's base."

"Geoff, no!"

"Okay, Ray's base. No arguing or you're fired. Also we need to stay on this side of the building so the camera men aren't having to run everywhere-"

"You're the one who ran around the corner."

"Specifics, Ryan. Base gets a three second head start. Ryan has a point; first to three wins fucking tag. Jesus, Ryan, you're such a weirdo." He finished, panting slightly.

Gavin was breathing heavily, sweating a bit already. "Exercise is hard." He gasped, clutching at his chest. Ryan snickered, equally sweaty, and patted his shoulder.

"True. But now I'm it, and this will probably be my downfall." He laughed, catching his breath.

"You're breathing dead man's air." Gavin quipped teasingly.

"Gavin's throwing out threats here." Michael narrated and Ryan smiled knowingly.

"Get ready for the next round. You too, Ray." Gavin stretched his legs exaggeratedly as he lined himself up towards the younger man.

"And... GO!" Jack called and Ray took off in a hard sprint.

"3...2...1!" Gavin counted down aloud before taking off as well. Ryan waited a moment, watching Gavin's flighty pattern, before running to the right.

"Ryan, Gavin went that way!" Geoff pointed, laughing, but Ryan merely brushed him off with a hand motion. Gavin was thinner and smaller, giving him the advantage in speed and quick turns, but Ryan was strategic. He made a wide u-turn and Gavin's hazel eyes widened as Ryan was suddenly coming right at him, his sandy-blond hair flowing behind him.

Gavin squawked before he was pulled up by the older man and spun around. They pressed their gleaming foreheads together, breathing hard, and Ryan grinned. "I got you." He mumbled and Gavin cursed quietly.

"Break it up, you two! We don't want to scar our viewers. That's two points for Ryan, zero for Gavin."

"This could be the final round, boi!"

"Good because I already don't want to run ever again."

"Yeah, but Ryan is gonna demolish you." Michael pointed out and Ray groaned.

"Nah." Ryan shrugged, smirking. "I'll go easy on you."

"You didn't go easy on me, asshole!" Geoff yelled and they laughed.

"Okay, let's start the final round!" Jack called and Gavin squealed his protest.

"I could still win!" He huffed and Ryan smiled, patting his head.

"Of course you could, sweetie."

"Okay, Ray, GO!" Ray sighed before darting away again to the left.

"1...2...3." Ryan gritted before pushing off, leaning forward as he barreled towards Ray.

Gavin was after him immediately, stumbling slightly as he did so. Ryan jumped over a parking divider, but Gavin was not so lucky; the young man, his eyes focused on Ryan's back, had completely overlooked the small obstacle that sent him flying through the air. He let out a surprised yelp before landing on his hands and knees, relatively unharmed.

Ryan let out a bark of laughter as he closed in on Ray, the latter of which was screaming, his brown eyes wide in horror at the bull-like charge. Ryan skidded to a slow jog before lightly tapping the young man that was curled up in anticipation.

"I win!" He announced with a proud grin.

"Bollocks!" Gavin whined as the others cheered, making their way inside. He pouted as he held up the belt, but his lips quivered until he was grinning again. "If I had to lose to anyone, I'm glad it was you, luv." He pulled his victor in for a hug.

"Me too. Mostly because I got the belt." Ryan teased, draping it over his shoulder proudly.

Gavin smacked his chest playfully, scoffing. "Well it's a good thing we're celebrating such an incredible feat with dinner, then."

-

Gavin flitted about the kitchen, securing the frilly apron Ryan had got him as a joke around him as he took supplies he would need from cabinets and the fridge alike. His phone buzzed and he fumbled with it before pressing the green answer button.

"Hi, luv!"

"Hey, Gav! I'm in the car right now. I've got the wine and I picked up a few other things we needed while I was there. I also got you a little gift I saw at the store."

"Aww you're such a sweetheart."

"It just reminded me of you, is all." Gavin could hear the blush in the older man's voice and smiled.

"Hurry and get home, you mong. I'm starting dinner now, your favourite!"

"You're making meatloaf, aren't you? God I love you."

"Hush your face and get here already." Gavin hummed as he hung up the phone, moving to chop onions.

An hour later, he found himself alone with the meal, pacing nervously. He checked his phone for what felt like the hundredth time, but there was no call or even text from Ryan, who should have been home ten minutes after their conversation. He dialed the number again but it went straight to voice mail.

He frowned, typing in Michael's number instead.

"What do you want, Gavin?"

"Michael, I'm really worried. Ryan was supposed to be home almost an hour ago and he's still not here. He's not answering his phone or anything." He tried to keep his voice level, but it wasn't hard to tell he was panicking.

"Calm down, dude. I'm sure he just stopped to get some things. Knowing him, he probab-"

"Hang on a tick, I'm getting another call. It might be him! Later, Michael!" He switched over the call, perking up hopefully.

"Hello?" He asked, a tad overzealous.

"Is this Gavin Free?" A stern and unfamiliar voice asked from the other side and Gavin deflated.

"Yes."

"I have something very important to tell you."

-

"Faster, Geoff, dammit, FASTER!" Gavin screamed at his boss, the latter of which was already going well over the speed limit.

"I'm fucking trying, Gavin!" He retorted, breathing out a sigh of relief when they finally arrived at their destination. Red and blue lights flashed blindingly in every direction as Gavin scrambled over the caution tape. A police man confronted him, but he shoved his arm off.

"I'm Gavin!" He yelled angrily, tears streaming down his face. A short. older man brushed the officer away, placing a comforting hand on Gavin's shoulder.

"Hello, Gavin. My name is detective Jacobson. Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"No! I need to see Ryan immediately!" He maneuvered around the detective despite protests and rushed towards the heart of the commotion, freezing at the sight that he was met with.

The wreckage was incredible, mangled metal melted together and steaming.

"It was a three-way collision." Detective Jacobson muttered, appearing beside Gavin. "The first car hit Ryan's car from behind, pushing him into the center of the intersection where a second car collided with the driver's side. We... We got his information from his wallet, but we need you to confirm that the body is him." Gavin's heart dropped at that and he walked, numbly, to the car he knew to be Ryan's.

They had moved the other cars away and a gaping hole was where a door once was. Blood and glass was spattered across the seat and Gavin flinched away from it. He kept walking to the ambulance, every breath he took seeming weighted and pained.

"I'm Gavin." He mumbled again and the paramedic nodded, leading him around the vehicle to where a stretcher stood on its lonesome, draped in a stained cloth. The worker left him there as Gavin peeled back the sheet and felt his heart physically break.

Ryan's face was smeared in blood, a deep gash across his throat making it clear what caused his death. His eyes were closed but streaks of clear skin showed that in his last moments, he'd been crying.

Gavin choked out a sob, stroking Ryan's blood-crusted hair. "Ryan..." He whispered, voice hoarse. His knees wobbled and his free hand gripped the edge of the stretcher, knuckles white.

He let out a wail, dropping his head down onto Ryan's clothed, lifeless body. "WHY!" He screamed, pounding his foot against the ground. He felt like he was going to explode; there was no way that a single person could feel so much pain, it wasn't right! He stared at Ryan's face and it looked so sad, but he couldn't bear to look away.

"I'm so sorry. I should have told you I loved you. I should have... There are so many things I should have done. It should've been me." He breathed out, cupping Ryan's cheek in his tanned fingers. The tears were blinding and he tried to blink them away, only to have more rush in immediately, hot and bitter.

He took in a deep, stuttered breath as he stood there, hoping against hope that he would wake up from the nightmare he was trapped in.

"Hey, Gavin." Geoff spoke softly from behind him but Gavin didn't turn around, his hazel eyes still fixated on the man that had been his entire life, his source of joy.

Geoff crept up behind him slowly, placing a hand on his shoulder as the detective had earlier. "Listen, I know-"

"Don't." Gavin said, jerking his arm away. "Don't touch me, don't tell me it'll all be okay, and DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HIM!" Gavin yelled, finally looking away from Ryan to glare at Geoff. "Just... leave us alone!"

"Okay, okay." Geoff raised his hands in a show of submission. "I'll go wait in the car, okay? But they need to take him to the hospital soon, and we'll need to follow for paperwork and questions."

Gavin watched Geoff until he left, turning back to Ryan. His finger trailed down a tear-stained line and he whimpered. "You were... are, my life, Ryan. How am I supposed to go home? Why did this have to happen to you!?" He wrapped his arms around Ryan's torso, holding him tightly.

"What do I do now?"

-

Things around the office changed drastically, as was to be expected.

There were less games, less pranks, and less laughs. They couldn't bring themselves to replace Ryan's job, so the usual group of six was left at a permanent five.

Above all, Gavin changed. The cocky ball of dumb joy everyone was so accustomed to became somber. He acted as he was supposed to when filming but was otherwise sheltered and quiet.

Sometimes, they would find Gavin sitting there, just breathing.

He would take the deepest breaths his lungs could muster and hold it in, as if mulling the air over, before letting it out in a huff that came out much more like a broken sob.

Nobody ever questioned why he did this, but if they'd asked he would say he was hoping to take in the same air that had been Ryan's last breath.


End file.
